Saturday, July 28, 2007

On blogging and scary things

I'm at a blogging conference right now, and apparently there's a whole world I don't know about called Mommy Blogging. Well, I know that plenty of women write about their kids, but I didn't know there was a whole community with in-crowds and politics and things, and I am not sure I want to be a part of it. I mean, I'm writing this more or less for you, Peapod, not the rest of the world, but if the rest of the world is interested, great.

Right now, I'm enjoying being pregnant. You scared the living crap out of me the other day -- I was spotting (meaning leaking a tiny bit of old blood), and I wondered if that meant you weren't sticking around. Although I don't know you yet, I'd be really bummed if you decided not to stay. Apparently, it's fairly common at 6 weeks (which is how far along I am now) to bleed a little, that it's probably just you burrowing in safely, which is cool.

I'm still hungry, and I think I had my first real morning sickness today. It could just be convention food, though. I have to pee ALL THE TIME (which surprisingly does not mesh well with sitting in 1hr and 15 min sessions). And oddly, it is taking forever to pee. Not to start, just once I get going, it's slow. Isn't that odd? I read on a web site the other day that that was also pretty common. Pregnancy is weird. I love you.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dear Peapod

Hi baby! The first thing I want to say to you is that you are perhaps the most loved and wanted child there ever was. Right now you're smaller than a grain of rice (something I'm sure will be unbelievable when you're tall like your dad), but I have an entire heart full of love for you. I've been waiting so long for you to show up, and now that you're on your way, there's so much I can't wait to share with you.

I'll share some of the details of pregnancy with you, even though maybe you don't want to know! I hope someday you'll understand how much I care for you, and that even when you find me uncool and old-fashioned and hopeless, you'll know I love you fiercely and beyond all reason.

Let's start with how you announced your impending arrival! Your dad and I had been trying to have you for 14 months, which felt like a long, long time. I was starting to think you were NEVER going to show. But on Wednesday, July 11 2007, I woke up in the middle of the night four times to pee! I thought it was weird, and a little suspicion started to grow. On Thursday, I was expecting to find out that I wasn't pregnant, but I didn't. By Friday morning (yes, Friday the 13th -- my lucky day), I couldn't wait any more to find out. I bought a pregnancy test and then ran out of the room to distract myself! I didn't want to look at the test, especially if it was unclear or negative. But after a few minutes, I went back and looked, and it was positive! I cried and cried! I was so happy, and relieved, too. I was so excited, and I wanted to tell your dad right away, but I wanted to do it in person. He called me that afternoon and asked how my day was, and I said that it was fantastic. That piqued his curiosity, and he wanted me to tell him right away why my day was fantastic, but I wouldn't tell him until I picked him up from work. When I told him, he said "this is good. We'll have to start a college fund." He's the one who nicknamed you Peapod. He calls me Sweetpea, so it came from that.

I told your grandma and Boompah on Sunday the 15th. I gave Grandma a bib and booties with an airplane on them (do you know your Grandma likes airplanes?). When I handed her the package, she said "For me? I haven't done anything!" I said "It's for something you're going to do." She opened it and gasped, and I said "you're going to be a grandma!" Then we BOTH cried and hugged.

I don't want to go on too long, or try to say everything right now, but I will tell you that even though I'm only four weeks and five days along (making you 19 days old), I already think about you all the time. I always have tried to make good choices about eating, but now it seems to be even more important, since it's going to feed you. I'm trying to read everything I can about pregnancy and babies, and have already ordered two books. I'm dying to know what you're up to in there! Apparently right now, you're building a central nervous system. You'll have a heartbeat by the time I go to my first doctor's appointment on August 9th.

That's enough for now. I'm looking forward to meeting you, but I'm also enjoying every minute of this.